Act of Comparison

Dave Grohl

According to Webster’s online dictionary the definition of comparison is, “the act or process of comparing: such as the representing of one thing or person as similar to or like another.”

Seems like a harmless act.

But it can be tricky.

What kind of self-proclaimed “blogger” would I be if I didn’t get real on here from time to time?

I am 100% guilty of comparing myself to others. This is a very dangerous game. Comparing isn’t something I find myself doing often, but when I get in it, it takes a while for me to get out of it.

I have found since I started this blog, and my shirt shop, when I am not getting the results I want I start to compare myself to others. I look at those bloggers who have thousands of followers on Instagram, work with so many different brands, collaborate, the list goes on and on. Yes I have been fortunate to open a few doors that weren’t there before but it is frustrating when I pour all my creative juices into a post that only a handful of people view. It’s hard to separate the real reason I do this, from the superficial need to have people “like” me.

Unfortunately when I get into the, “comparison hole” (as I like to call it) with my blog, it starts to spill over into other aspects of my life. I start to feel like at 36 years old I need to be more successful. Sure I have a good job, I have a wonderful husband, a nice home, but should I have a bigger home like my friend Sally? Should I have a better job like my friend Alice? Am I not trying hard enough to climb the corporate latter? It’s a never ending cycle of thoughts and eventually I convince myself I should just give up on all things I am passionate about.

So how do I get out of this horrible comparison place? I write about it. There are many  posts I have written and never published because I feel like it was just me needing to get it out. However, I think this is a particular topic we are all somewhat guilty of. I could spend the rest of my life comparing myself to others and thinking I need to be where they are. Or that I will never be as “grown up” as they are. Sure it might take me a few years to get this blog, and other things in my life I am passionate about, out there but I will be damned if I am going to let anything get in the way. Sure I get into ruts, as you can see, but I also get myself out of them. This may seem harsh, and is simply my opinion, but those who spend their life comparing what they have, or don’t have, to those around them are incredibly insecure. Now I may have lost a few readers for that, and that’s ok. By disagreeing with me you are sticking to WHO YOU ARE. That is the first step to being secure in yourself as a human.

I am not perfect. I may never have a six-figure job, drive a bright shiny car, or live in a giant house. This blog may just be something my Mom, sister, husband, and handful of great friends read because they are my biggest fans, and that’s ok. I have to constantly remind myself I am doing all of this because it is what makes me happy and that has to be enough.

Now that’s not to say if Free People…..or Louis Vuitton happen to want to start sending me free stuff because they love what I write on here….I’m not going to say no. BUT if that never happens, I am ok with it. I do everything I do because it is truly what I love. For me that is enough.

Peace, Love, and BE YOU!

*Sally and Alice are not ACTUAL people I know….just names! 🙂

10 thoughts on “Act of Comparison

  1. Beautifully written and so true. Comparison us definitely a dangerous game. ( actually posted a blog on this a few months ago)
    I know what it is to get list in this game. I have found God’s word to have the power to pull me out when I get lost.

  2. Everyone compares in some capacity. It’s natural to compare yourself, your work, or your path to others or to that of others, but it can unless it’s constructed positively, it can be really soul-crushing. My favorite quote I have seen floating around recently goes like this: “What if we said: “She’s beautiful but so am I,” instead of, “She’s beautiful and how do I measure up to her?”” Great post. So powerful and very relatable 🙂

    xo, Taylor || The Millennial Sprinkle (thesprinkle.tayloramead.com)

  3. I definitely fall into the comparison trap too, girl. I feel like especially as a blogger, it’s easy to get into that mindset because you’re constantly putting yourself out there, trying to be seen, always engaging with others on social media. Social media is a great way to meet others who share your interests, but it can be a really negative beast if you’re stuck in comparison.

    The best way I’ve found to beat comparison is to get back to creating my own stuff and to stop consuming other people’s. Whatever that looks like: logging off of Instagram for a few days, or cranking out a couple of blog posts, or creating new graphics for my blog. Another way that I stop the comparison game is to genuinely compliment others. It sounds strange at first, but when I maintain a positive attitude about someone else’s accomplishments and say, “Hey, you’re doing amazing there”…I don’t know, it somehow makes me feel better about myself. 🙂

    Great thoughts, Julia!

    1. These are some great things to try! I really like the “compliment” others! Writing this post was super helpful and I am so happy so many people responded to it!

  4. Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts. I may be from a totally different niche but it totally relates to me as well. Yep, we are comparing each other where we should just live and do what we love.

  5. I love reading your blogs! Always fun and give us all something to think about! Makes me feel like I am still part of your world! Keep writing girl! The world is yours for the taking! Love you!

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