So many feelings and thoughts about last night’s Vanderpump Rules. For anyone who was shocked Jax admitted it…..me too. His M-O is usually to deny, deny, deny until it does him no good and he is forced to tell the truth. HEY JAX maybe keep it in your pants and you can avoid situations like this…just a thought.
Of course we find ourselves back at Scheana’s birthday party where EVERYONE is talking about Faith and Jax’s hook-up in front of a sleeping senior citizen. Brittany is obviously distraught and Kristen is still threatening to destroy Jax’s eh hmmm……balls.
Scheana declares that Jax doesn’t deserve Brittany. Well not shit Scheana! Jax NEVER DID deserve her. I love Brittany but I can’t help but question what she see’s in him. It’s pretty obvious that in 6 seasons he has yet to change. BUT I guess you can’t help falling in love with a man that has had more plastic surgery then 3 playboy playmates combined. But I digress.
The next day is when Jax tells Brittany the truth as she is getting ready to head off to Vegas. The only way she knows the console her broken heart. I guess Vegas is how the Pump peeps like to deal with break-ups. Bottle service and pool parties always seemed to fix my broken heart! Wait…I grew up in Nebraska..and reality.
The rest of episode is pretty dull if you ask me. We are introduced to Stassi’s on again off again boyfriend Patrick who has an impressive man-bun. At dinner we learn he is going to Amsterdam and she shouldn’t ask him about what he does while he is there…oh and he won’t be talking to her for the duration of his 7 day trip. Red flag?! NOT FOR STASSI! Throughout that dinner she completely misses the fact Patrick is wanting to have an “open relationship.” One word…..asshole. Or is that two? Whatever it still means the same thing.
James is back asking Lisa to DJ at SUR. How many times has he been fired? Banned? 6? 12? I lost count. He doesn’t come alone either, his lady friend Raquel joins him in what she calls shorts but I call denim underwear. She wants to work at Vanderpump Dogs and when Lisa asks her what she does, like for work, Raquel looks utterly dumbfounded. Once she awakens from her haze she responds in typical L.A. fashion, she models. Of course this qualifies her to work with dogs!!!! Lisa tells her she needs to volunteer first. She might want to rethink her outfit choices when she shows up to scoop poop.
Fast forward to yet another birthday party for Arianna’s brother Jeremy. The only real interesting part of this is the Tom’s decide to cry. Schwartz is feeling as if he has no direction, and Sandavol, with a tear stained check of bronzer, reassures him that he is perfect. Listen, a man having a good cry isn’t a sign of weakness in my opinion…but the bronzer might be a little much. To each there own, Sandavol does have some pretty decent cheekbones to highlight.
We end at Long Beach Pride where Lisa is Grand Marshall for the Parade. The Tom’s go to support Lisa and to make up for being complete douche’s to her in last week’s episode. We also see Brittany return to work at SUR only to reveal she hooked up with Jax earlier that day. (Insert palm to face emoji here)
I’m sorry Brittany but you totally got Jaxed.
Until next week! #pumprules
PEACE, LOVE AND JAXED